Estimate delivery times: 3-6 days (United States), 12-26 days (International).
History forgot us — but fashion didn’t.
This piece reimagines royalty with a suspiciously modern glow-up. A full-color portrait of a present-day pharaoh stares into your soul like he just hired slaves off LinkedIn. Regal. Delusional. Iconic.
Whether it’s satire, manifestation, or a family reunion with Tutankhameme, this sweatshirt asks the real question:
“Were we kings too?” (Yes. Obviously.)
Details:
Soft AF fleece interior, worthy of a royal nap
Full-color sublimated print – crisp, golden, gloriously unnecessary
Unisex cut with ancestral confidence
May increase ego by 3000% and confuse museum curators
Perfect For:
Your god complex
Walking into rooms like you built the pyramids
Ancestral cosplay with no historical accuracy
Product Features
- Made from a durable medium-heavy fabric blend of 50% cotton and 50% polyester for optimal warmth.
- Ribbed knit collar retains shape and adds a stylish touch.
- Featuring embroidered decoration options for personalized flair.
- Ethically produced using 100% US-grown cotton and low-impact dyes.
- A comfortable classic fit with double-needle stitching for added durability.
Care Instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Do not iron
- Do not dryclean
| S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Width, in | 20.00 | 22.01 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 |
| Length, in | 27.00 | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 |
| Sleeve length (from center back), in | 33.50 | 34.50 | 35.50 | 36.50 | 37.50 | 38.50 |
| Size tolerance, in | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
We like our hoodies bold and our shipping honest. Here’s how it goes:
All orders are made-to-order just for you.
Please allow 1–3 business days for processing before your item ships.
Most orders ship from the US, depending on your location — so you get it faster and with fewer weird customs delays.
We’re not Amazon. We don’t do drones. But we do pack your items with care, sarcasm, and passive-aggressive love.
Have questions? We got answers → info@provokify.com
Printed to Order:
No dusty warehouses or fast fashion junk. Your piece is made just for you, fresh off the press.
Original Art & Typography:
Designed in-house by our team of rebels, meme lords, and chronically online creatives. Expect chaos. Accept compliments.
Premium Materials:
We choose quality fabrics that actually feel good (physically and emotionally). Wear it all day, or until HR asks you to stop.
Long-Lasting Prints:
Our prints are made to survive wash cycles, workplace drama, and social media cancellation.
Unisex & Inclusive Sizing:
Because provocation looks good on everyone.
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