Estimate delivery times: 3-6 days (United States), 12-26 days (International).
Thousands of years later and somehow HR still finds a way to make slavery sound like "career growth." This hoodie pairs ancient Egyptian hustle with painfully modern corporate gaslighting—because nothing says “motivational abuse” like building pyramids for exposure.
Unisex heavyweight hoodie = comfy enough to survive 4000 years of unpaid labor
Front & back prints in high-res sarcastic glory
Soft fleece interior for maximum emotional support
Ideal for work, resignations, and historically accurate breakdowns
Interns trapped in "fast-paced environments"
People who’ve heard “great for your portfolio” way too often
HR professionals with a dark sense of humor
Anyone building someone else's empire for minimum wage
Product Features
- Spacious kangaroo pouch pocket for warmth and convenience.
- Adjustable drawstring hood for a custom fit.
- Environmentally friendly, made without side seams to reduce fabric waste.
- Crafted with a durable 50% cotton and 50% polyester blend for a cozy feel.
Care Instructions
- Tumble dry: medium
- Iron, steam or dry: low heat
- Do not dryclean
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
| S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | 4XL | 5XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Width, in | 20.08 | 22.05 | 24.02 | 25.98 | 27.99 | 29.92 | 31.89 | 33.86 |
| Length, in | 27.17 | 27.95 | 29.13 | 29.92 | 31.10 | 31.89 | 33.07 | 33.86 |
| Sleeve length from center back, in | 33.50 | 34.50 | 35.50 | 36.50 | 37.50 | 38.50 | 39.50 | 40.50 |
| Size tolerance, in | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
We like our hoodies bold and our shipping honest. Here’s how it goes:
All orders are made-to-order just for you.
Please allow 1–3 business days for processing before your item ships.
Most orders ship from the US, depending on your location — so you get it faster and with fewer weird customs delays.
We’re not Amazon. We don’t do drones. But we do pack your items with care, sarcasm, and passive-aggressive love.
Have questions? We got answers → info@provokify.com
Printed to Order:
No dusty warehouses or fast fashion junk. Your piece is made just for you, fresh off the press.
Original Art & Typography:
Designed in-house by our team of rebels, meme lords, and chronically online creatives. Expect chaos. Accept compliments.
Premium Materials:
We choose quality fabrics that actually feel good (physically and emotionally). Wear it all day, or until HR asks you to stop.
Long-Lasting Prints:
Our prints are made to survive wash cycles, workplace drama, and social media cancellation.
Unisex & Inclusive Sizing:
Because provocation looks good on everyone.
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